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shallownessTitle: No friend to those with noses
Fandom: Dark Angel
Rating: G.
Characters: Joshua, Alec.
Word Count: 488.
First posted: Late December 2005.
Summary: A smelly cat is no friend to those with noses; Joshua has a snout.
Notes: Written for Roonblah, who wanted funny DA fic. This loosely takes place around ‘Hello, Goodbye’. The title is taken from Pheobe’s song ‘Smelly Cat’ from Friends. With big thanks to lusmeilti for the beta, all idiocies are mine.
No friend to those with noses: shallowness
The smell was unique, indescribable. Alec had been down in the sewers again, and Joshua was beginning to rethink having a smelly cat as a housemate. He'd just walked in, and stunk the house out. Not cool. The opening-your-house-to-friends policy was a bad idea, Joshua decided.
Visits to the sewers weren't a hazard anyone had talked about when Alec got into trouble - which wasn't his fault. No. Max and Alec had just said stuff like 'He's got to keep a low profile.' Joshua hadn't thought it was going to be so literal.
There were sewers, and then there were sewers, Joshua knew that from experience. But why, since moving in, did Alec have to go through the ones that made Joshua gag? Hand over his face, Joshua went to the door, full of regrets about not keeping buckets of water handy by the main entrance. All the better to dunk Alec with. Joshua moved on to other deep philosophical questions, like, why wasn't Alec in the shower already - but no, he was standing still, opening up his cell.
Joshua glared at him. Friend or no friend, he could almost see the smell rolling off Alec. The dirty look had no effect, seeing as Alec was used to ignoring Max's glares, so he tried growling to get the message across.
"Ssh! No, not you, Logan. Max there? ... Well, I don't know, she might have decided she wanted to go see if there was a sale at the bike parts store ... What? ... Oh yeah, I did." Joshua's free arm was fanning the air, as if it had a hope of making the smell go away. "Tell Max- Hi there, Maxie. Good to hear your voice, even if you're going to lose it way you're screeching ... I'm not gonna dignify that- ... Okay, okay, yeah, it's a go. Fine. You're welcome."
Joshua had decided the best thing was for him to hold his breath at this point.
"So rude," Alec said. Talking about Max. Joshua wanted to laugh. But he was holding his breath. "I crawl around the sewers for them, and all they care about is did Logan's source come through. No 'How are you Alec?', 'Any problems?'. No sympathy for what I've been through."
Joshua made some kind of muffled howl of desperation.
"You okay, buddy?"
Joshua made like a signpost towards the shower, but Alec was still standing there, bringing the sweet odors of the Seattle drains to their home. Looking concernedly at Joshua. As if he had no idea why Joshua was turning a different color.
"Alec. Go. Shower." The words came out, but Joshua didn't take any of the putrid air in.
Alec backed off for a second. In the wrong direction.
"Uh, yeah, what do you think I was planning to do?"
"NOOOOWWWWWW!"
For the first time in years, all the windows of Sandeman's house were opened that day.
FIN
Feedback is always received with wide-open arms.
Fandom: Dark Angel
Rating: G.
Characters: Joshua, Alec.
Word Count: 488.
First posted: Late December 2005.
Summary: A smelly cat is no friend to those with noses; Joshua has a snout.
Notes: Written for Roonblah, who wanted funny DA fic. This loosely takes place around ‘Hello, Goodbye’. The title is taken from Pheobe’s song ‘Smelly Cat’ from Friends. With big thanks to lusmeilti for the beta, all idiocies are mine.
The smell was unique, indescribable. Alec had been down in the sewers again, and Joshua was beginning to rethink having a smelly cat as a housemate. He'd just walked in, and stunk the house out. Not cool. The opening-your-house-to-friends policy was a bad idea, Joshua decided.
Visits to the sewers weren't a hazard anyone had talked about when Alec got into trouble - which wasn't his fault. No. Max and Alec had just said stuff like 'He's got to keep a low profile.' Joshua hadn't thought it was going to be so literal.
There were sewers, and then there were sewers, Joshua knew that from experience. But why, since moving in, did Alec have to go through the ones that made Joshua gag? Hand over his face, Joshua went to the door, full of regrets about not keeping buckets of water handy by the main entrance. All the better to dunk Alec with. Joshua moved on to other deep philosophical questions, like, why wasn't Alec in the shower already - but no, he was standing still, opening up his cell.
Joshua glared at him. Friend or no friend, he could almost see the smell rolling off Alec. The dirty look had no effect, seeing as Alec was used to ignoring Max's glares, so he tried growling to get the message across.
"Ssh! No, not you, Logan. Max there? ... Well, I don't know, she might have decided she wanted to go see if there was a sale at the bike parts store ... What? ... Oh yeah, I did." Joshua's free arm was fanning the air, as if it had a hope of making the smell go away. "Tell Max- Hi there, Maxie. Good to hear your voice, even if you're going to lose it way you're screeching ... I'm not gonna dignify that- ... Okay, okay, yeah, it's a go. Fine. You're welcome."
Joshua had decided the best thing was for him to hold his breath at this point.
"So rude," Alec said. Talking about Max. Joshua wanted to laugh. But he was holding his breath. "I crawl around the sewers for them, and all they care about is did Logan's source come through. No 'How are you Alec?', 'Any problems?'. No sympathy for what I've been through."
Joshua made some kind of muffled howl of desperation.
"You okay, buddy?"
Joshua made like a signpost towards the shower, but Alec was still standing there, bringing the sweet odors of the Seattle drains to their home. Looking concernedly at Joshua. As if he had no idea why Joshua was turning a different color.
"Alec. Go. Shower." The words came out, but Joshua didn't take any of the putrid air in.
Alec backed off for a second. In the wrong direction.
"Uh, yeah, what do you think I was planning to do?"
"NOOOOWWWWWW!"
For the first time in years, all the windows of Sandeman's house were opened that day.
FIN
Feedback is always received with wide-open arms.
