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Natasha versus the Marketing Ploy. Marvel Cinematic Universe. PG. Natasha Romanoff, ensemble. 503 words.
Author's Note: Written for the prompt ‘MCU, Natasha Romanoff+Any, To present the Avengers in a more 'cuddly' light, plushies are made of them. Natasha is not amused.’ at
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Natasha versus the Marketing Ploy: shallowness
Pepper is clearly amused as she hands each of the Avengers a paper bag. Natasha is less so, as she doesn't actually know what the simple brown bags contain. She hates the fact that she doesn’t know anything except what she can pick up on now. Something in a box from the shape of it. Relatively light.
"A present!" Tony says, his face lighting up. “What are we celebrating? General awesomeness?”
Natasha takes her bag with as much care as when she's dealing with any unknown substance, but her expression is neutral. Pepper moves on to Clint with nonchalance.
Tony is already diving in, and the other guys aren't far behind. Even Bruce's caution has been overtaken by curiosity. When Natasha sees what they all pull out of their bags, she revises her threat assessment - not that Pepper would knowingly put them in danger, and not that she seemed to be acting outside her normal behavioural parameters.
Still, Natasha doesn't relax a muscle, because like the other Avengers she's holding a box with a plushy of her in it. Natasha stares at the doll: bright red hair, black clothes, inane expression.
The other Avengers are chuckling at theirs.
"Then you did listen to my good friend Darcy Lewis," Thor addresses Pepper.
Natasha's eyes snap towards them. She's seen Darcy Lewis's files. Assistant to Thor's on-again, off-again genius girlfriend. Coulson's notes about her were very interesting.
Natasha is already devising ways of ensuring the demise of Ms Lewis...by plushy. She's up to four already.
"I listened to her and made sure the right people listened to her too." Pepper replies. “She was right, this will make people see the Avengers in a new light. Less destructive, more cuddly.”
"Aww," Tony said. "By the way, why couldn't Stark Industries make them? I'm sure they're going to be bestsellers."
Steve is looking at his mini-me with fascination. It occurs to Natasha that he never saw a toy like that when he was growing up, Neither did she. Doesn’t mean it’s going to make her go soft.
Clint sidles up to her.
"So, I can tell that you hate it, but I also know a certain girl who would love a Black Widow doll. And when I film her reaction," he grins knowingly, "you’re going to stop planning to kill Darcy Lewis and see this for the brilliant marketing ploy it is. Think of all the little girls who are going to want one."
"I am not cuddly," Natasha says flatly.
"I know," her oldest friend replies. "And I'm sure you're going to prove it in training later with all the weapons."
Natasha thinks about the kind of stiletto dagger she'd sincerely like to stick in the doll. But she knows the concerned conversations that would lead to.
So she hands Clint the doll to give to Lila, just like he knew she would.
Standing just behind Tony, who has inevitably started mock-fighting the others' dolls with his, the look of amusement returns to Pepper’s face.
Author's Note: Written for the prompt ‘MCU, Natasha Romanoff+Any, To present the Avengers in a more 'cuddly' light, plushies are made of them. Natasha is not amused.’ at
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Pepper is clearly amused as she hands each of the Avengers a paper bag. Natasha is less so, as she doesn't actually know what the simple brown bags contain. She hates the fact that she doesn’t know anything except what she can pick up on now. Something in a box from the shape of it. Relatively light.
"A present!" Tony says, his face lighting up. “What are we celebrating? General awesomeness?”
Natasha takes her bag with as much care as when she's dealing with any unknown substance, but her expression is neutral. Pepper moves on to Clint with nonchalance.
Tony is already diving in, and the other guys aren't far behind. Even Bruce's caution has been overtaken by curiosity. When Natasha sees what they all pull out of their bags, she revises her threat assessment - not that Pepper would knowingly put them in danger, and not that she seemed to be acting outside her normal behavioural parameters.
Still, Natasha doesn't relax a muscle, because like the other Avengers she's holding a box with a plushy of her in it. Natasha stares at the doll: bright red hair, black clothes, inane expression.
The other Avengers are chuckling at theirs.
"Then you did listen to my good friend Darcy Lewis," Thor addresses Pepper.
Natasha's eyes snap towards them. She's seen Darcy Lewis's files. Assistant to Thor's on-again, off-again genius girlfriend. Coulson's notes about her were very interesting.
Natasha is already devising ways of ensuring the demise of Ms Lewis...by plushy. She's up to four already.
"I listened to her and made sure the right people listened to her too." Pepper replies. “She was right, this will make people see the Avengers in a new light. Less destructive, more cuddly.”
"Aww," Tony said. "By the way, why couldn't Stark Industries make them? I'm sure they're going to be bestsellers."
Steve is looking at his mini-me with fascination. It occurs to Natasha that he never saw a toy like that when he was growing up, Neither did she. Doesn’t mean it’s going to make her go soft.
Clint sidles up to her.
"So, I can tell that you hate it, but I also know a certain girl who would love a Black Widow doll. And when I film her reaction," he grins knowingly, "you’re going to stop planning to kill Darcy Lewis and see this for the brilliant marketing ploy it is. Think of all the little girls who are going to want one."
"I am not cuddly," Natasha says flatly.
"I know," her oldest friend replies. "And I'm sure you're going to prove it in training later with all the weapons."
Natasha thinks about the kind of stiletto dagger she'd sincerely like to stick in the doll. But she knows the concerned conversations that would lead to.
So she hands Clint the doll to give to Lila, just like he knew she would.
Standing just behind Tony, who has inevitably started mock-fighting the others' dolls with his, the look of amusement returns to Pepper’s face.