Strictly launch show

[shallowness]

For once, I am not sulking that it’s on too early (I checked back to last year, I wasn’t sulking and it was on at around the same time, so this idea I’ve got of me disliking the Strictly launch show as a too early harbinger of autumn ought to be dropped).

As ever, it was overly stimulating, like being dragged into a party and ending up wondering how you’d done the conga. I only knew (of) most of the ‘celebs’ very vaguely. The contestants’ fame is not a deal breaker for me, because you get to know them over the weeks. Obviously, the show is never going to line them up so that you can work out who the tallest and shortest contestants are and pair them up accordingly with a pro, but height is a very good predictor. So, I was both going ‘oh, that’s who they are’ and ‘if you take out that step, they’re the tallest, so…’

Tess wasn’t too bad, although the woman must know about the drinking games, so the repeated ‘pocket rockets’ was a bit bad. Claudia changed her hairstyle! And it worked so much I wasn’t moaning about colour. At the start of the show, everyone (including the judges) talked too much, but I will note Dame Darcey (probably for services to ballet, not judging) gave very practical advice, for once.

The camera loves the new pro who gets to have a partner. Neil does not get to have a partner :(. AJ’s hair is better this year and I really like Karen’s haircut.

The big opening was fun, without being too themed – they played a bit on it being a runway. Also, Anton on the glitterball was delightful and a much better entrance than Darcey’s. I think the pros got to do actual Latin moves in the Havana number, and AJ makes any pro look like a cougar. You could feel the waves of relieved ‘I’m too busy having a resurgent career to appear on this’ coming off Craig David. The song was fine – on the nose because of some jokes – but Nile Rogers and Chic felt like they were slumming it a little to me.

Impressions of the celebs: some admitted they were in it to win it (general wisdom says they are fools) while others claimed they wanted to come out of this with a new skill. Faye from Steps played the spoons. I really, really want Katie Piper to have an excellent time. Joe Sugg, who has never flitted past my consciousness before, looks like a thin Malcolm from Malcolm in the Middle and is dryly funny. I worried about the levels of hamminess he’d get from his partner, but they’re nearly all hams.

I could watch a Strictly Pros Carpool Karaoke spin-off.

Early impressions of the pairings: the inevitable Anton and Susannah look like they’ll be funny (for now). Did AJ nearly drop the Paralympian (I wanted her to have a better choreographer)? I can’t be sure because I’d started hiding under a cushion. Don’t do that, AJ. Because of the Susan Calman effect last year, I’m glad Kevin and Stacey look like they’ll get on with a house on fire. Getting last year’s champion means that they think you’re a dud, Sean, but I’m going to fixate on your hair. I had other thoughts about other pairings, but as ever, there are so many, I’ll raise them in a fortnight.

The group dance happened. You couldn’t call it a pleasing work of artistry. I spent most of it trying to work out who was who, but my impressions were that the Pussycat Doll (clearly not on the Scherzinger’s Christmas card list, and almost begging us to mention Michelle Williams off Destiny’s Child glory days) looked like she knew what she was doing, as did the tall one off Casualty who Karen, not Oti, got. Faye can hit her spots. And I daresay that all those impressions will prove to be unfounded.

I am in the ‘time of a female celeb to win’ camp.