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shallownessHappy new year! I caught up on The Masked Singer Christmas special at some point between when it aired and the end of last year. From the opening group number, it was fairly clear that none of the four contestants were professional singers. ‘Agile polar bear’ Joel wasn’t wearing a suit, while the current four regular judges were present and correct, meaning there’d be no repeat of one of them competing.
Mistletoe (their body a giant pair of moving lips, with the mistletoe itself smaller and on top) was a man willing to show off his legs (in red and white tights.) He was doing his best Shane McGowan as he sang what was originally a duet as a solo. The judges mostly guessed Dermot O’Leary. Su Pollard came on as a fairy godmother to give a clue, but Joel pretty much confirmed that it was DO’L (and the producers chose to keep that in.)
Goose A-Laying was clearly a woman switching accents. The clues suggested a comedienne who’d been in panto. She sang ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Klaus’ in a high-pitched voice that seemed impossible to guess. At first, I thought she was older, then when Davina guessed Miranda Hart, I tried to work out how tall she was. Christopher Biggins came on as a dame to give an unhelpful clue.
The studio audience (which had a lot of kids) had to choose between the better singer who was probably Dermot O’Leary or someone really hard to guess. They voted to save Mistletoe, the judges stuck to their four different guesses, but it was (Dame) Maureen Lipman, who nobody had guessed.
Next up, Figgy Pudding (a man putting on a Brummie accent), the clues suggested food and cooking. Absurd staging for ‘When a Child is Born’ with eggs as choristers, a Christmas tree playing a golden piano and a gold partridge on the screen. The singer was trying to sing properly. Lesley Joseph came on as an evil stepmother. I didn’t think the guesses matched the voice at this point.
Santa’s Sack was the plainest outfit. They were doing a relatively posh English accent, and I thought they might be a part of dynasty. The crowd was very entertained by their rock-n-roll ‘Run, Run Rudolph’. The first two judges went for black women, but Davina said what I’d been thinking, i.e. that she wasn’t sure if it was a man or woman. The judges couldn’t agree on Santa’s Sack’s race, gender or age. Basil Brush appeared behind the panel’s table as Prince Charming.
Again, it was a choice between a better singer and someone really hard to guess, and the better singer (I thought), Figgy Pudding, won. Santa’s Sack turned out to be Floella Benjamin, and Davina apologised for guessing Alan Sugar.
In the last sing-off, Mistletoe sang ‘Last Christmas’ and really sounded like Dermot O’Leary. And a bit flat. Figgy Pudding’s vocal on ‘Step Into Christmas’ was wild – not in a good way – and sounded like Scott Mills, actually.
Mistletoe was the better singer, and was voted the winner.
All the judges stuck to their guesses for Figgy Pudding, so well done, Maya, for it was Scott Mills as she’d guessed. Winner Mistletoe returned to the stage to ‘Save All Your Kisses For Me’, and everyone bar Mo, who was committing to the joke, guessed Dermot, who it was. He sang ‘Fairytale of New York’ again, but sounded more like himself.
We had some tasters of the new series, and had been reminded of how very surreal this show is, so job done.
Mistletoe (their body a giant pair of moving lips, with the mistletoe itself smaller and on top) was a man willing to show off his legs (in red and white tights.) He was doing his best Shane McGowan as he sang what was originally a duet as a solo. The judges mostly guessed Dermot O’Leary. Su Pollard came on as a fairy godmother to give a clue, but Joel pretty much confirmed that it was DO’L (and the producers chose to keep that in.)
Goose A-Laying was clearly a woman switching accents. The clues suggested a comedienne who’d been in panto. She sang ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Klaus’ in a high-pitched voice that seemed impossible to guess. At first, I thought she was older, then when Davina guessed Miranda Hart, I tried to work out how tall she was. Christopher Biggins came on as a dame to give an unhelpful clue.
The studio audience (which had a lot of kids) had to choose between the better singer who was probably Dermot O’Leary or someone really hard to guess. They voted to save Mistletoe, the judges stuck to their four different guesses, but it was (Dame) Maureen Lipman, who nobody had guessed.
Next up, Figgy Pudding (a man putting on a Brummie accent), the clues suggested food and cooking. Absurd staging for ‘When a Child is Born’ with eggs as choristers, a Christmas tree playing a golden piano and a gold partridge on the screen. The singer was trying to sing properly. Lesley Joseph came on as an evil stepmother. I didn’t think the guesses matched the voice at this point.
Santa’s Sack was the plainest outfit. They were doing a relatively posh English accent, and I thought they might be a part of dynasty. The crowd was very entertained by their rock-n-roll ‘Run, Run Rudolph’. The first two judges went for black women, but Davina said what I’d been thinking, i.e. that she wasn’t sure if it was a man or woman. The judges couldn’t agree on Santa’s Sack’s race, gender or age. Basil Brush appeared behind the panel’s table as Prince Charming.
Again, it was a choice between a better singer and someone really hard to guess, and the better singer (I thought), Figgy Pudding, won. Santa’s Sack turned out to be Floella Benjamin, and Davina apologised for guessing Alan Sugar.
In the last sing-off, Mistletoe sang ‘Last Christmas’ and really sounded like Dermot O’Leary. And a bit flat. Figgy Pudding’s vocal on ‘Step Into Christmas’ was wild – not in a good way – and sounded like Scott Mills, actually.
Mistletoe was the better singer, and was voted the winner.
All the judges stuck to their guesses for Figgy Pudding, so well done, Maya, for it was Scott Mills as she’d guessed. Winner Mistletoe returned to the stage to ‘Save All Your Kisses For Me’, and everyone bar Mo, who was committing to the joke, guessed Dermot, who it was. He sang ‘Fairytale of New York’ again, but sounded more like himself.
We had some tasters of the new series, and had been reminded of how very surreal this show is, so job done.
