The Masked Singer (series 7 starts)
Jan. 6th, 2026 05:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shallownessEpisode 1
The opening number came from Goldfish and the house band ‘No Trout’ (heh.) She was female, probably a pro singer and youngish. All the masked singers were on stage, with some of them now realising how restrictive their cozzies were. Enter the panel and then Joel. Oh dear, Mo took advantage of the house band to ‘rap’.
Moth was first, and it was a fairly decent outfit, a gown with a ruff and a cartoonish head. One of the clues was that she’d been west (which I took to mean the US, but the panel thought referred to the West End.) She took on ‘Hero’ and while I was defiantly less moved than the studio audience, because she wasn’t quite Mariah Carey good, and sounded nervous right at the beginning, she was clearly a pro with a good voice, so I’ll probably like her by the time they’ve kept on people who can’t sing because of their personalities. Should be noted that she must have realised she’ll have to wave her arms around to show off the wings that are a big part of the costume. I thought the best guess was Paloma Faith, though I’m not convinced that it’s her.
Goldfish sang the jingle and we had a couple of clues for her, one being black belts, which led Maya to guess Anne-Marie, which seemed eminently plausible.
Disc Jockey was a horse-riding jockey with a mixing desk as a head. A woman with a decent enough voice, though not a pro’s, so I won’t bother listing the clues, singing ‘Pink Pony Club’ so the unicorn playing a DJ behind her had a t-shirt with ‘Hay!’ on it, which amused me. Maya (as she would all night) thought she’d been on I’m a Celebrity. I had no idea who she was.
In all the trailers for this show, I’d thought Gargoyle was a Gremlin, but when you had a proper look at the costume, it was very stone-like, and her clothes gave off a punk vibe. The costume probably alters her height, too. Fake American accent, she wasn’t a pro singer, though that was an exuberant rendition of ‘Filthy’. She was older, I thought, than most of the guesses.
The panel were asked to guess who Goldfish (who had a head like a goldfish and wore a yellow-orange suit with a suggestion of scales and a suggestion that the design team knew it was a one-night-only deal) was. Jonathan didn’t try very hard. It was Anne-Maire, so well done, Maya. Anne-Marie got to sing (that was one of her songs, presumably, so if I’d been in the studio, I couldn’t have sung along) and then she would join the panel and the house band would rest up.
Sloth, as Davina had highlighted, was wearing quite the fitness video outfit. A youngish man, but not a singer (he sang in a slightly more American accent than he spoke in, but not a convincing one). Big personality and absolutely could not keep still. When he commented post the guesses, his speaking voice sounded like Jay McGuiness (but wouldn’t he be a better singer?)
Can of Worms had a very cartoony outfit in terms of both the worms and can. Male, putting on an American accent, his VT was pushing the gardening theme, which some of the panel fell for, but all the VTs were running with the theme related to the costume. There was a croissant which suggested baking, although it might have been foreshadowing for the song. When he started singing, he was using the fact that there were (cartoon worms’) faces on both his hands (but not where his face should be) like someone who is used to puppets, and kind of singing ‘Be Our Guest’ like a duet, which suggested an actor. The insane staging led up to a chorus line with Can of Worms, flowery dancers and a cartoon sweetcorn. Definitely entertaining, and I agree he’s probably a better singer than he was for most of that.
The studio audience would vote for their favourites, and the panel would decide who to unmask of the two who got the lowest votes. The three I suspected would be through were through, and it was between Disc Jockey (who’d sounded worse on the replay) and Gargoyle. They saved Gargoyle, and all the panel (Anne-Marie aside, because she hadn’t heard her sing) stuck with their first guesses, but it was Alex Jones, and nobody had been close. (Some of her clues, like Anne-Marie’s, had been beyond obscure – the picture of Jonathan Ross had been a reference to appearing on the Welsh show ‘Jonathan’ which is called that because it features rugby’s Jonathan Davies.) No wonder she didn’t disgrace herself, she’s from the Land of Song!
I have no idea who any of the remaining five are.
Episode 2
The house band were now called Antarctic Funkies, wearing slightly different costumes and masks, and joined by Emperor Penguil, male, a proper singer with the head part of the costume doing most of the work. The remaining masked singers and celebs came on – Davina had unfortunate hair, but Joel was in an even more unfortunate sparkly pupil jumpsuit thing that was far too unbuttoned.
First up, Arctic Fox, very wintery queen vibe to the costume, but one of those where you weren’t sure if they were an older woman or a man who probably does drag. When singing, it became clearer that he was a man, some kind of performer, but I wasn’t sure if he was more of an actor or a singer.
The clues for Emperor Penguin weren’t helpful.
Yak’s costume was joyous, colourful, influenced by giant Chinese dragons, although the way it worked was that the head was down towards their middle and probably had to be manipulated by hand. Again, not sure from the VT if they were a man or woman, but when they started singing, it was clear they were an older man and NOT a proper singer. I hope that he’s a comedian, but he must be with that fake coughing fit. (I have guesses in mind for who he is, but won’t embarrass myself by noting them.)
Toastie was again hard to pin down genderwise until they started singing. I presumed the Liverpool speaking accent was fake. The cartoony face was on a tilt, they had an orange bobble head. Confident performer, I thought, when they started not quite singing ‘Walk This Way’ and then she let rip on the chorus and was clearly a proper singer. A pigeon and rat with toolbelts came on during the performance.
Teabag was a very cartoonish costume, a man putting on a posh English accent, but some of the clues (lambs, Arthurian myth) made me wonder if he was actually Welsh. I thought he was disguising his voice, and wasn’t sure if he was a professional singer or not.
It became time to guess who Emperor Penguin was before their unmasking, and half of the panel stuck to their guesses, but Jonathan didn’t even try, i.e. he repeated Trevor Phillips, who Maya had ridiculously guessed for Teabag. It was…Matt Lucas, and nobody (including me) had got close. He's a better singer than you’d think, and has been a guest on the panel before. Clearly, he enjoyed reprising ‘Pinball Wizard’, and took off his cloak as well when he joined the panel.
Conker was a conker as inspired by Marvin the Martian in the form of a knight. I ignored all the castle clues (because that was the knight thing), but noted clues like a lego heart, a comprehensive guide to something, and the phrase ‘playing a part’, so I wondered if he’d be an actor. His speaking voice was a bit Joe Pasquale, but when he sang, I thought he might be a pro singer, and sounded a bit like Mark Owen, but as Mo started talking about the clue ‘hit the mark’, I wondered if that was too obvious. He couldn’t keep still.
Monkey Business wore an 80s power suit, and the clues that stood out were a first-aid kit and stethoscope, the poison Belladonna, roller stakes, and the word ‘trial’. She had a nice voice and might well be a pro singer, although she wasn’t projecting very well. Maybe older. There were lots of ‘double dipping’ guesses (i.e. people who’ve appeared before), but I didn’t buy them.
The studio audience did not vote through confusing Teabag and the terrible singer but entertaining Yak. The panel decided to save Yak, who was the most entertaining – even just in the business with Joel on stage. Asked to guess who Teabag was, and several changed their guesses for various tall men, but it was Professor Green, who can sing. He seemed glad that they hadn’t guessed him, and then sang his song again, better.
The opening number came from Goldfish and the house band ‘No Trout’ (heh.) She was female, probably a pro singer and youngish. All the masked singers were on stage, with some of them now realising how restrictive their cozzies were. Enter the panel and then Joel. Oh dear, Mo took advantage of the house band to ‘rap’.
Moth was first, and it was a fairly decent outfit, a gown with a ruff and a cartoonish head. One of the clues was that she’d been west (which I took to mean the US, but the panel thought referred to the West End.) She took on ‘Hero’ and while I was defiantly less moved than the studio audience, because she wasn’t quite Mariah Carey good, and sounded nervous right at the beginning, she was clearly a pro with a good voice, so I’ll probably like her by the time they’ve kept on people who can’t sing because of their personalities. Should be noted that she must have realised she’ll have to wave her arms around to show off the wings that are a big part of the costume. I thought the best guess was Paloma Faith, though I’m not convinced that it’s her.
Goldfish sang the jingle and we had a couple of clues for her, one being black belts, which led Maya to guess Anne-Marie, which seemed eminently plausible.
Disc Jockey was a horse-riding jockey with a mixing desk as a head. A woman with a decent enough voice, though not a pro’s, so I won’t bother listing the clues, singing ‘Pink Pony Club’ so the unicorn playing a DJ behind her had a t-shirt with ‘Hay!’ on it, which amused me. Maya (as she would all night) thought she’d been on I’m a Celebrity. I had no idea who she was.
In all the trailers for this show, I’d thought Gargoyle was a Gremlin, but when you had a proper look at the costume, it was very stone-like, and her clothes gave off a punk vibe. The costume probably alters her height, too. Fake American accent, she wasn’t a pro singer, though that was an exuberant rendition of ‘Filthy’. She was older, I thought, than most of the guesses.
The panel were asked to guess who Goldfish (who had a head like a goldfish and wore a yellow-orange suit with a suggestion of scales and a suggestion that the design team knew it was a one-night-only deal) was. Jonathan didn’t try very hard. It was Anne-Maire, so well done, Maya. Anne-Marie got to sing (that was one of her songs, presumably, so if I’d been in the studio, I couldn’t have sung along) and then she would join the panel and the house band would rest up.
Sloth, as Davina had highlighted, was wearing quite the fitness video outfit. A youngish man, but not a singer (he sang in a slightly more American accent than he spoke in, but not a convincing one). Big personality and absolutely could not keep still. When he commented post the guesses, his speaking voice sounded like Jay McGuiness (but wouldn’t he be a better singer?)
Can of Worms had a very cartoony outfit in terms of both the worms and can. Male, putting on an American accent, his VT was pushing the gardening theme, which some of the panel fell for, but all the VTs were running with the theme related to the costume. There was a croissant which suggested baking, although it might have been foreshadowing for the song. When he started singing, he was using the fact that there were (cartoon worms’) faces on both his hands (but not where his face should be) like someone who is used to puppets, and kind of singing ‘Be Our Guest’ like a duet, which suggested an actor. The insane staging led up to a chorus line with Can of Worms, flowery dancers and a cartoon sweetcorn. Definitely entertaining, and I agree he’s probably a better singer than he was for most of that.
The studio audience would vote for their favourites, and the panel would decide who to unmask of the two who got the lowest votes. The three I suspected would be through were through, and it was between Disc Jockey (who’d sounded worse on the replay) and Gargoyle. They saved Gargoyle, and all the panel (Anne-Marie aside, because she hadn’t heard her sing) stuck with their first guesses, but it was Alex Jones, and nobody had been close. (Some of her clues, like Anne-Marie’s, had been beyond obscure – the picture of Jonathan Ross had been a reference to appearing on the Welsh show ‘Jonathan’ which is called that because it features rugby’s Jonathan Davies.) No wonder she didn’t disgrace herself, she’s from the Land of Song!
I have no idea who any of the remaining five are.
Episode 2
The house band were now called Antarctic Funkies, wearing slightly different costumes and masks, and joined by Emperor Penguil, male, a proper singer with the head part of the costume doing most of the work. The remaining masked singers and celebs came on – Davina had unfortunate hair, but Joel was in an even more unfortunate sparkly pupil jumpsuit thing that was far too unbuttoned.
First up, Arctic Fox, very wintery queen vibe to the costume, but one of those where you weren’t sure if they were an older woman or a man who probably does drag. When singing, it became clearer that he was a man, some kind of performer, but I wasn’t sure if he was more of an actor or a singer.
The clues for Emperor Penguin weren’t helpful.
Yak’s costume was joyous, colourful, influenced by giant Chinese dragons, although the way it worked was that the head was down towards their middle and probably had to be manipulated by hand. Again, not sure from the VT if they were a man or woman, but when they started singing, it was clear they were an older man and NOT a proper singer. I hope that he’s a comedian, but he must be with that fake coughing fit. (I have guesses in mind for who he is, but won’t embarrass myself by noting them.)
Toastie was again hard to pin down genderwise until they started singing. I presumed the Liverpool speaking accent was fake. The cartoony face was on a tilt, they had an orange bobble head. Confident performer, I thought, when they started not quite singing ‘Walk This Way’ and then she let rip on the chorus and was clearly a proper singer. A pigeon and rat with toolbelts came on during the performance.
Teabag was a very cartoonish costume, a man putting on a posh English accent, but some of the clues (lambs, Arthurian myth) made me wonder if he was actually Welsh. I thought he was disguising his voice, and wasn’t sure if he was a professional singer or not.
It became time to guess who Emperor Penguin was before their unmasking, and half of the panel stuck to their guesses, but Jonathan didn’t even try, i.e. he repeated Trevor Phillips, who Maya had ridiculously guessed for Teabag. It was…Matt Lucas, and nobody (including me) had got close. He's a better singer than you’d think, and has been a guest on the panel before. Clearly, he enjoyed reprising ‘Pinball Wizard’, and took off his cloak as well when he joined the panel.
Conker was a conker as inspired by Marvin the Martian in the form of a knight. I ignored all the castle clues (because that was the knight thing), but noted clues like a lego heart, a comprehensive guide to something, and the phrase ‘playing a part’, so I wondered if he’d be an actor. His speaking voice was a bit Joe Pasquale, but when he sang, I thought he might be a pro singer, and sounded a bit like Mark Owen, but as Mo started talking about the clue ‘hit the mark’, I wondered if that was too obvious. He couldn’t keep still.
Monkey Business wore an 80s power suit, and the clues that stood out were a first-aid kit and stethoscope, the poison Belladonna, roller stakes, and the word ‘trial’. She had a nice voice and might well be a pro singer, although she wasn’t projecting very well. Maybe older. There were lots of ‘double dipping’ guesses (i.e. people who’ve appeared before), but I didn’t buy them.
The studio audience did not vote through confusing Teabag and the terrible singer but entertaining Yak. The panel decided to save Yak, who was the most entertaining – even just in the business with Joel on stage. Asked to guess who Teabag was, and several changed their guesses for various tall men, but it was Professor Green, who can sing. He seemed glad that they hadn’t guessed him, and then sang his song again, better.
